Today I have a heavy heart , thinking of all the things I once had and now I don't have! Truly the only thing I have left is my lil ones and our home that we cant even live in... Why couldn't it be different , what could it have hurt for my husband to stay here with us ... I just don't see how this life could be better or a life with out him here! God I need help to understand this and why you have such plans for us , why didn't you just take us as a family? Maybe you could have just gave us a 2nd option and tested our faith with each other ! I hate feeling so helpless and my security is completely obliterated ..... I have nothing but a strand of thread to hang onto and day by day it feels like it could snap into ... I just couldn't see leaving my lil ones , but yet this so called life isn't a life when the man I love has been ripped out of my grasp!
I am falling apart and I just want my life back the way it was !!!!!!! Please dear Lord just wake me up and let our daughters and my life be back to the way it was with the man we love at our side! I'd give anything even a decade of my own life to have his given back to him ! Please God I am begging you to just give him back to us , this hurts so badly and it won't ever be the same without him here!!! I just can't do this without him, Lord! I am falling apart and I can't do this to our babies... Guide me and show me what to do because I am lost and I need to see a glimpse of your light and know that my husband is right here walking this out with me and our babies....
Anna Cluck
