Monday, April 1, 2013

Marriage between ONE HUSBAND and ONE WIFE ...

    A true marriage in my eyes , where there are exchanging of vows and rings to one another is a love that will and should last forever , and in my case the woman or man should love their husband/wife enough to ensure their commitment before God is fulfilled! Why do we wear rings? A ring itself is never ending and that is how God intended for spouses love to be for one another , and even in death should that partner be loved just as they are here with the living spouse! A RING IS NEVER ENDING AND IS ETERNAL!
Following I copied : The unending circle or wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. For Christian couples, the exchanging of the wedding rings is the outward expression of the inward bond, as two hearts unite as one and promise to love each other with fidelity for all eternity. Likewise, the wedding covenant and the husband and wife relationship is a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and his bride, the church. Husbands are urged to lay down their lives in sacrificial love and protection. And in the safe and cherished embrace of a loving husband, a wife naturally responds in submission and respect. Just as the marriage relationship, symbolized in the unending circle, is designed to last forever, so too will the believer's relationship with Christ endure for all eternity.

Though God does give us free will to choose to end that eternal promise if a spouse passes or if both agree into divorce, but you must remember that if you remarry due to a husbands/wifes passing you will not have an eternal love in heaven other than Jesus and God himself... LOVE BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE IS SACRED IN GODS EYES .... Think of it this way if God was here as your husband and you were his wife, and You passed away do you think God would honor the vows he promised you? I know he would! I felt led to share this and to help others to understand how I feel and see this ..
I love my husband and though he isn't physically with me doesnt mean I am lonely or sad , it means he is closer to me now than when he was physically here with us .. Faith is the key to finding true LOVE (eternity with God) !


http://christianity.about.com/od/symbolspictures/ig/Christian-Symbols-Glossary/Christian-Circle.htm

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Living with A Broken Heart!

  I am in a struggle daily to fight for my life, and to keep myself healthy for our little one inside my whomb... My health is very important at this time in my pregnancy , and I feel like I'm in this tug-a-war game with myself! I have noticed lately a few things that are flagged with my health ... It is a day to day process living with out your other half! It's not easy and it is not replaceable... Nothing can ease the pain of knowing you have to wake up and face another day without them , and to force yourself to get out of bed and live , when all you want to do is just give up  ... BUT YOU CAN'T!

Things I have noticed that this process has done to my physical body with in this 1st month:
*Fatigue - I always want to sleep, dont want to get up though I have to it's a struggle to stay standing!
*Depression- Don't want to see any reason to live without him, but I know I have (2) important reasons to strive to live.
*Emptiness- I did lose my best friend! When you lose your husband/wife it takes a big piece of you and slowly tairs at whats left....
*Headaches- If I even attempt to stand up more than 10-20 minutes , I start to have really bad headaches..
*Chest tightness- felt like I couldn't breathe or like my lungs and stomach region were closing up it resulted in my throwing up.
*Shooting Pains- ONLY on right side from shoulder to foot.
*Nauseus - could be a lil from pregnancy
*Lip sores- raw spots on bottom inside lip

Right now I can't think of many more.. but I just feel like I am in a struggle to make myself strive to stay here while I also want to be with Mason... I am so confused lately about how I feel ..I am truely fighting ... I feel like I am slipping away and the thing is I am strong spirited , I have always been afraid of death ever sense I was a small child, but my heart is breaking so bad and I miss him so it is just ripping my spirit and will to fight straight from me... I love my babies and I want to have the strength to live for them ... I am so lost , I am in the middle and I wish part of me could be here for them and part of me with him!

I was asked to look up this site about the widowhood effect or broken heart syndrome..
Can you die from a broken heart? YES! Ladies if you are in the same situation as myself or even if you've lost your baby this can benefit you to read this... Take care of yourselfs the best you can ...

http://janderson99.hubpages.com/hub/Can-you-Really-Die-of-a-Broken-Heart

Anna Cluck

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Are You Here?

 I was on my computer lastnight (3-11-13) it was around 11:40pm .. I thought I caught a glimpse of someone walking towards me in the corner view of my eye ( I was sitting facing the wall on the couch , TV to my right side) , I quickly looked towards the TV and nothing was there , the TV was on so I thought maybe it was someone on the TV... I went back to the computer and then I felt like someone was watching me, in my heart I felt Mason here with me .... I felt like I could talk to him , so I opened up , I turned towards our urn.

 I told him how much I missed him, and how I just wish he could be here with me. I told him how much I missed hugging him and kissing him.. I felt tears well up in my eyes and warm stream of little tears began to roll down my face, I just kept telling him , "I truely love you Mason!" During the whole time my heart was fluttering , I felt this peace and all the while I was talking to him , I got to the point I had to tell him I loved him once more then ... I heard a "POP" the sound came to me with the first thought being the sound of his ankle popping, the way he would pop it in bed just before we went to sleep , or when he would rest on the couch at home! I knew that sound and , I knew it was him! He had hurt it when he was young , he told me, and after it would bother him and the only way to relieve the discomfort was to turn his foot and pop his ankle... he barely would turn his foot and it would POP so loudly! .. I just know it was Mason! I believe God allows our loved ones to share a bit of their presence to let us know they are ok and love us and are awaiting our arrival...

"Until We Meet Again!" my love!


I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

Anna Cluck

Monday, March 11, 2013

HIS and ONLY HIS! (Mason's love, God's child)

  I know that I am young , so I've been told tons of times, and that thinking I will not ever love again, is apart of grieving ... I KNOW WITH A SHOUT OF A DOUBT THAT I WILL NOT EVER LOVE ANOTHER MAN (at all) IN THE WAY THAT I HAVE LOVED MASON! I am not and will not ever be open to another relationship , I am his wife and he is my husband ... I believe in my heart it is more than just "TIL DEATH DO US PART!" I am faithfully waiting for my husband , though I can't see him physically , doesn't mean he isn't with me .. He had a purpose and God had told me (I misunderstood at that moment) that the end was near and I didn't hesitate to help open Mason's heart to God's plan..

Would I change it if I would have know that GOD was showing me my husband was going to be with him soon? Would I have made sure that he didn't take him?

No, and no... I want my husband back to hug, kiss, and to love here physically just like the next wife , but I know that GOD had and has a BIG PLAN set out in front of me and I am here fully to fulfill his plan and to be here completely heart and soul for my babies! I know that I do not need a physical partner (hense why I believe God had set this out for Mason and myself to do).. I KNOW MASON IS THERE FOR ME AND OUR BABIES!

 I may be different from most people ... but I am meant to be .. so please except my opinion on going away from my marriage and God and give into what the human body wants, needs, ect... I am living only as a vessel and a mother now and I will not allow human wants to pull me away from God's plan ... I will be reunited in Mason's arms one day .. I truely am very thankful for all prayers and kind words and for those that have tried to help me and let me know about the grieving process, it has helped ...

May God Bless you and thank you for reading .. Much love Anna Cluck!


Friday, March 1, 2013

Your In My Dreams!

3/1/2013                                   In My Dreams


                                    
 Well I saw you in my dream lastnight! You were in a distance out a window , so I went searching for you ! I found you sitting near the top of what looked like movie theater seats , but these chairs were just for two people and I found you sitting up there in your wedding attire...
I took a seat to the right of you...
 
You began to tell me that you were in a beautiful, peaceful place waiting ... I wondered "WAITING?"
Though I said nothing , it's like you felt what I was thinking , and you said heaven ...
All of a sudden things changed to me trying to save everyone (family and friends and even strangers)from something ...
You disappeared and everyone was rushing outside to the boat that was awaiting to take people to a safe place and I pushed everyone to the boat and then when it feeled up I saw a helicopter in front of me and I had all others gather on it and I started searching for my dad , ... "Dad? Dad?" I screamed out ... I spotted him swimming to the helicopter , and I was so frightened he wouldn't make it so I jumped in after him and as I turned back to the helicopter I saw YOU (Mason) on a perimedic bed leaning up (in your wedding attire again) smiling at me and you looked so radiant... As the copter took off my father clung to a rope that ascended him up with it... I was so excited that I saved everyone and then I realized IM HERE!! then I woke up!
 
There are meanings to every dream and I truely believe it has to do with me spreading your story and touching lives , I am so worried about others making it to heaven .... I am at a loss without you baby but I know you are there with me each and everyday ... I am finally seeing you and hearing you in my dreams!!! I hope you visit our Natalie in her dreams at night... She misses you so so much!
 
I LOVE YOU FOR ETERNITY MY HUSBAND!!!
 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Mason's Story! My Testimony!


Please have an open heart when I tell you!
Friday January 4th 2013, I was letting my dogs out to potty.. Our christian station here is 93.7 and as I was opening my back door he said "The end is near and its up to you to make it right" , I strongly
believe in God coming back and I thought that's what all this was about for us all .. I opened my door and it was like opening up to a rainbow of bright bright colors (same as you see but the trees and clouds/sky were 10x's their color!) I felt this electric shock running through my body and I felt this sweet small voice in my heart telling me to hit my knees, I DID SO I HAd NO CHOICE! I then heard (felt) him telling me Mason, my dad, my brother n law Andy, and it kept going but Mason was first and I at the time didn't understand I just prayed I thought he was needing me to change and help lead them to christ for when he came back...
I then told Mason about it and we began to talk about church and he was willing to go , he loved going to my uncles church so we went two Sundays before it happened the second Sunday we were sitting in the church and my cousin asked me to go help her with the childrens church and I ask Mason if he'd be ok in the service by himself and he told me he would be fine and I asked him again he said Ill be ok I told him I loved him and went to class , I worried the whole time about him and was wondering what he was doing... After the service they had a potluck dinner and when we got in there he looked at me and said it felt like your uncle was talking at me... He said it was about if you think your a christian or KNOW you are ... he told me he KNEW HE THOUGHT HE WAS but now he knew he wasn't and he wanted to except Christ... we got home and we layed down for bed and he looks at me and said it was still on his mind, I told him that was good and I kissed him (I should have listened more) He woke up the next morning went to work , when he got home he pulled out this bracelet a man had gave him at work that Monday it was a little leather bracelet with colors on it in red, black, yellow (gold), white, and green... he told me he felt like it was meant for him and he asked me to tie it on his wrist .. he then read what the colors meant to me (read it one time) red - blood of Christ, yellow (in place of Gold)- heaven, black-sin, white- all may be saved now (his favorite one), green- growth.. after he rememberized them , that night he asked me how to be a christian or how to start I said baby start small by the way you think , if you think you are better than them , change it to something better smile , he said, "I dont judge them because I think I'm better than them, I judge them because I think their better than me." I told him, " No one is better than the other and expecially you.." He told me he'd try that ... he wanted to talk to my uncle derrell about the message that touched his heart and the following next two weeks thinks kept coming up and happening .. He lost his job Feb. 8th 2013 he was driving down the road and I by his side , he was devisated begging them to tell him why ... though he kept his faith things will get better he said... the following next days past on we bought our home the day of the termination .. things were changing for us while things were getting pretty bad as well we started needing money and food (thanks to family we had a lil) ... He kept smiling and valentines day 2-14-2013 we went to my moms boyfriends for dinner (shrimp) he was excited and he was so hiped up that night , I asked him to tell them the meaning of his bracelet he was smiling the entire time going through the colors , he finished with green as i remember exactly... Just before we were to eat Rick (moms bf) said lets bless the food, Mason had told everyone to gather hands... Never in my life has he said this! the next two days we were moving... that Saturday night before the wreck he took my uncles trailer back to him and his truck with the carseat in it ran out of gas at my uncle derrells , that night he spoke to my Uncle about how the cermon touched him and how it truely meant something to him! My uncle brought him home and I then asked him if we could get his lizards tank inside so it wouldn't freeze and so we could put the car seat in the car so we could go home and cook at the other house he told me no you are pregnant and its too heavy! Well I took my lil sister home wearing his jacket in the same seat he was in and using his keys! I got home and remember him and my baby girl laying in bed he was telling me she scared him by sitting up acting like she was blind , I laughed and we agreed she was just sleeping , we went to sleep!!!!!!
Sunday Febuary 17, 2013 he woke up at 6:53 am went to the rest room , then came by my side and told me it was cold (he was always cold) he said he was about to go get the change from his trruck to go cash it at walmart and get us gas in the car , and go get biscuts from the house and bring them back he then but his jacket on grabbed the keys and I asked him if he took his seizure meds he said he did and I yelled come take the phone just in case you need it .. he said oh yah I forgot.. then we said I love you , I told him to be careful (like everymorning) he said I will baby I love you! Then he headed out , I heard him shutting the back door multible times it had a problem latching ... I had no Idea it would be the last moment I would have with him at all!!!!!
At 8:36 am I heard knocking and I walked to the door in a hurry smiling I thought Mason was locked out ... I opened it to two policemen standinging there with a look on their face that scared me ...
They asked me who I was, I said I was Anna Cluck then they asked if they could come in.... I directed them in ... they asked me if I was married..................... My heart dropped and I said yes , why am I being asked this? He said ma'am you HAVE TO TELL US WHO YOU ARE MARRIED TO! I hesitated and said Mason Cluck! They then told me he was in a very bad wreck that took his life!!!!_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MY LIFE ENDED THAT DAY!!!!!!
It makes sinse that God needed him and it wasn't our end but HIS END HERE!!! AND HIS BEGINNING WITH GOD!

http://thecluckfamily.blogspot.com/2013/01/hearing-god.html
 


 the bracelet he wore and was pround to talk and share with others! He passed away wearing this meaningful bracelet!
 this link is from my blogg post from January 6th about "HEARING GOD"!
http://thecluckfamily.blogspot.com/2013/01/hearing-god.html

Sunday, January 6, 2013

"Hearing God"

      I was on my way to let my dog out to potty, as I opened the door I saw the brightest most elegant (undescribable to man) colors, to which decored the sky, trees, and surrounding things (same colors as we all see everyday but multipied by 10)! I heard an inner voice with-in myself telling me to hit my knees, and I felt a force with-in myself that allowed no questioning and I did so! 'I HIT MY KNEES'! I believe God needed me to humble myself to hear him speak to me. Though, I didn't hear him with my ears , I heard his still small voice in my heart telling me to PRAY?!?! I began to pray for those around me, I wasn't sure as of why I was praying for them at the moment, but I realized God needed me humbled before him, inorder for me to hear him. I felt this chill of sweet fulfillment and love endulge my entire being and I KNEW it was GOD! He spoke just a few words with-in my heart and soul, and I still had a lot to say, though I know God has more for me to learn but in his time he will speak to me! I have a purpose for this life and through God's son Jesus Christ I MUST fulfill my purpose! I am not sure of it just yet, but God will lead me to it!

John 12:28 [Jesus prayed] "Father, glorify Your name.”
Then a voice came from heaven, saying,I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.”
 29 Therefore the people who stood by and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to Him.”
 30 Jesus answered and said, This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake".

Isa 55:1-11 Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”
6 Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
 
 
Jer 6:10
To whom can I speak and give warning? Who will listen to me? Their ears are closed so they cannot hear. The word of the LORD is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it.
 
Zech 7:11-13
11 “But they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and covered their ears. 12 They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the Lord Almighty had sent by his Spirit through the earlier prophets. So the Lord Almighty was very angry.
13 “‘When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen,’ says the Lord Almighty.
 
Isa 30:20-21
20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”