Friday, July 12, 2013

Preparing for Baby #2 Arrival

   This post is a lil off the subject lately, but I am becoming a bit nervous as time is quickly approaching Mason Olivia's big arrival! Her due date is September 16th, I do feel she may come a lil bit earlier so maybe the end of August beginning of September! We'll see!!!

  We had her baby shower on her daddy's birthday, we received a good bit to start us off (Thank you everyone who came and gave us MomO's gifts)! We got a good bit of outfits and baby products, like, shampoos, diaper creams, diapers (sz 1, I ask for no newborns), wipies, bottles, ect... You name it we most likely got it !

  My mother went to target ,about 2 days after the shower, with me and we bought MomO's carseat! I will post links below of the products for which I am using for her carseat and where you can locate them as well to purchase them if you wish! I wanted to use something this time around that would support our lil bundle's head a bit more than Natbug's (1st baby) did! So we went with the "Baby Trend Flex Loc Car Seat in Liberty" it was reasonable priced! I did want to go with the pink mist one (same brand), though no where in Alabama seemed to have it in stock.. Then I went to Esty.com for her strap covers. The shop name on ESTY is "RolyPolyPlace", she was really great! I ordered the 9th of July and received them by the 11th!!! Really pleased with the product as well, the minky is really soft! Then for head support , I simply went to Walmart and bout the "Child of Mine Duo Head Support" (owl style)...

Picture of finished product::

...Links...
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

"Where To Go At A Dead End"



 I hate this feeling of not knowing what will tomorrow bring, or how can I face this life with all this dread and discomfort? How can I even see a tomorrow when it doesn't seem worth living? I have our two girls here on this crazy earth with me and they are the ONLY thing that keeps me a bit sane... I am losing hope and I am falling into this dark abyss that seems full of thick quick sand that each day is a struggle just to stay above to catch a breathe or two... I feel like I am dying inside and I am struggling to fight for what life I do have left! This is more than just because God decided he needed my hubby, it has to do with the way this new life is and how everything seems to be falling apart day by day!
 
I am beyond sick of living with others and tired of the way my lil girl don't know which end is up , she has changed a lot since her daddy has passed away and it is ripping me to shreds , I can't stand putting her in situations where she doesn't even know where home is anymore... She is so confused and at times all I want to do is beg God to please just pick us up and let us be with Mason again!!! I am falling so deep into depression it's crazy! I just want to lock myself from the world and hide ! This is not a life , this is a horrible hell! I need my husband back and I need my childs life back ... I can't stand the changes that have happened in the past 3 1/2 months! I feel locked away from what we once had and I can't even try and get it back!!!! I do not want this life, I want the life I had before !!!! That life includes Mason, Natalie, Baby MomO , and myself ... All I ever needed was my family and God... Now all I have is God and my girls!!!! No one understands me and most women in my shoes are so consumed of this world and who they can love next ... I quite do not care anymore!!!! I am so lost and I want to run outside and throw my hands to the sky and ask God "WHY, WHY ME AND WHY OUR BABIES AND MY HUSBAND?" I need you God so bad , I am falling falling falling , I can't let this keep on like this something must change, All I am asking for is please just give us our home .... or give us our home with Mason and you... I am at my last bit of hope... My heart and soul are crumbling, my family don't even understand me and when I want to talk about the one person that means the world to me they want to shun me and act like nothing NOTHING was said!!!!!! I just need our home and our girls ... I would love to have Mason back here with us and I know that is possible because you (God) said , "All things are possible with God!" But I wouldn't want to do that to Mason, because I know he is at rest and waiting peacefully for us to join him.... So I will ask please just open up a door to our home , I want to be in our home with our babies.... I love my lil family so very much!!!!!




Friday, May 3, 2013

Smiles (hide the) Pain

  Today I have a heavy heart , thinking of all the things I once had and now I don't have! Truly the only thing I have left is my lil ones and our home that we cant even live in... Why couldn't it be different , what could it have hurt for my husband to stay here with us ... I just don't see how this life could be better or a life with out him here! God I need help to understand this and why you have such plans for us , why didn't you just take us as a family? Maybe you could have just gave us a 2nd option and tested our faith with each other ! I hate feeling so helpless and my security is completely obliterated ..... I have nothing but a strand of thread to hang onto and day by day it feels like it could snap into ... I just couldn't see leaving my lil ones , but yet this so called life isn't a life when the man I love has been ripped out of my grasp!
 
 I am falling apart and I just want my life back the way it was !!!!!!! Please dear Lord just wake me up and let our daughters and my life be back to the way it was with the man we love at our side! I'd give anything even a decade of my own life to have his given back to him ! Please God I am begging you to just give him back to us , this hurts so badly and it won't ever be the same without him here!!! I just can't do this without him, Lord! I am falling apart and I can't do this to our babies... Guide me and show  me what to do because I am lost and I need to see a glimpse of your light and know that my husband is right here walking this out with me and our babies....
 
 Anna Cluck


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

"I'm Always With You"

  I love waking up from my dream and knowing I spent it with you, Mason , it was short and sweet, I'm sure I had others before it but the ones with you are unforgettable! We were running on a main road behind vehicles and we were holding hands , I was kind of leading you as you were following and holding onto my hand, I would look back at you and I remember thinking (we spoke with thought) this way. Then we spotted your dad in what I thought was a lil white car, but ended up being a big white truck. We ran over to where he had pulled over to pick us up and you went all the way around the other end but still came to get in on the same side as me. We were sitting in the back together. Once we climbed in and your dad shut the door I layed as if I was below you a lil and you lowered your hand and arm down to where I was and I joined my arm with yours as if we were holding on to one another by our forearm softly , like you were saying I'm here, I'm here, and I got you ... I remember looking at our arms inter twined and thinking how special a moment this is and just admiring the love I felt between us as if you were telling me no matter where I go or what I do you will always be there by me as though we are apart of one another and our love can't be separated.. Two hearts that beat as ONE truly and one soul that was split for the two of us so we would end up ONE... I love you Mason Singleton Cluck...

I love seeing you in my dreams and knowing we can still be together while I wait to be with you and never to part.
 
Anna Cluck
 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

"Pink or Blue?"

  Well I truely was hoping for a boy, and I was truely determined it was going to be a boy .. Though God had other plans , so her name is "Mason Olivia Cluck"! Yes it's a GIRL!
                        

 Mason- from her wonderful daddy that had to go home to the Lord! To prepare his family the best of the best up there for when we are able to join him ...

Olivia- I was torn up thinking we hadn't got to choose a girl name together since we both were so certain for a boy... But then , I remembered what Mason wanted our little Natalie Grace to be named. He originally loved the name "Olivia Grace" and I just had to have her named Natalie so we bumped Olivia and used "Natalie Grace"... So now I will name this sweet angel after her daddy and the name he thought was just beautiful! So she is a "Mason Olivia"!

Our babies have such sweet memories that I will share with them , their daddy had a heart of gold, not a day passed by that he didn't play and hold his Natalie, and I know deep down that right now as Mason Olivia is growing in mommy's whomb she is reciding with her daddy in heaven playing and soaking up all his gentle hugs , til she's ready to come face this world with Mommy and Big Sissy! My angels here are my babies, and my angel that awaits me in heaven is their daddy, my husband, Mason Singleton Cluck! What a day awaits my daughters and me, that day when we awake to eternity and his arms spread wide open just aching to hold us , and the best part is that in that moment in that time , we will have ETERNITY!

 Thank you Lord for our many blessings! Two beautiful lil girls from the man I love with my whole heart and soul! I love you Mason , WE love YOU!!!!

                     
Our nephew , Noah, kissed by our sweet Natalie!

Our beautiful neice, Kaylee, hugging our Natalie!
 
Pictures from Mason's cross 4/17/2013



 
 
Anna Cluck
 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

"When Does It End"

  I am trying to stay strong for my little girl, Natalie, and our unborn baby .. For if I didn't have them to push me along in this thing called life , I don't know if I could have made it a day after finding out I had lost the one person that meant the world to me , their daddy! I've heard countless times , "It gets better in time." Well what if I don't want it too? I just can't see it getting better, BETTER would be having him here beside me at night and kissing me when I least expect it and putting his arms around me from behind and whispering, "I love you, Anna!" Oh, how I miss those words streaming from his lips... I will not ever see how time will heal because whether others understand or don't , I woke up in this life, this nightmare... Literaly woke up to hearing two kind officers tell me the worst news I could possibly ever have to hear! I lost my love, my childrens daddy, my husband, and my soulmate to this thing we call life! I do believe it is God's plan and God's will that my Mason had to leave us to go to his eternal home, I am just afraid that I will not be able to love him there as I did here and the thought of that just rips at my heart and it's like telling me he died all over again! As far as I am concerned , there was two people in that car, two people in that casket , and two people in that urn... What am I here for ? Why did I live or did I? Why do I have the privilage of raising our beautiful babies, and not him? What caused God to need Mason before he needed me ... Then I begin to think well , I know I wouldn't want Mason to feel this pain ad grief I feel to this very day! I wouldn't want him to hurt, or cry! I'm not strong , I am literaly dying inside because I am stuck in this life , that I once thought was perfect , and now is falling apart in front of my face... How do I help my little girl and her little sibling know that their daddy loves them so very much and that he is with them every day... Why couldn't he hold his second child? This is like living in a horror movie and the thing that hurts is I have some that don't understand and think I am hurting myself... NO I'M NOT , I am hurting inside because I had to wake up to a life that is not mine, not my kids, we had a perfect little family Saturday, February 16th, 2013 , we had things looking up for us , a new home and our first night there, then the next morning my husband told me he was going to get us some breakfast , because we hadn't got our fridge put in yet ,and then told me he loved me , and he didn't come home! Or maybe I did wake up in an endless nightmare... This has to be worse than death itself! I am stuck and I will not and can not ever "MOVE ON"... "TIME will not HEAL"!!!!

I want to wake up and him be there holding me telling me it was all a dream and our sweet Natalie in between us and us family hugging :o)

Our babies need me and I am fully focusing on them and what they need ! I don't need time to heal anything that isn't healable! I'm forever 1/2 dead inside til I am in his arms again safe and sound!

I LOVE YOU MASON SINGLETON CLUCK!!!!

Anna Cluck

Friday, April 12, 2013

Heaven is Only a Glimpse Away.

    I do not recall much of the dream, I do know something had happened and you ,Mason, and myself were waiting on Natalie. We were a bit sad at first but when we saw her she came up to us and we all did our family hug! As we were gathered in each others arms, I felt this beautiful light full of gorgeous stars encircle us fully, and we began to acsend into the sky (roof of a building that quite looked like a hospital) . Then the next thing I know we were in Heaven , as we walked into Heaven, I saw Jesus to our left smiling , I do not remember his features but my soul knew it was he, Christ himself! Then we kept walking and everyone smiling , it was like a welcoming , yet the best most beautiful welcoming ever! I know I was thinking man it is beautiful here, and so peaceful! There are no words to explain the feelings I felt and the beauty that was all around! It was beautiful!


Anna Cluck



Monday, April 8, 2013

In My Dreams, We Can Be..

  I love falling to sleep at night , then you are there , we spent the whole night together ... I believe we were at my Nona's there were a lot of pple around the whole time , every where we went! I didnt pay any attention to them as I was with you , we were sitting on Nona's love seat , we did see a little blonde headed lil girl run in front of us going to Nona's kitchen, that made me feel sad , I began to miss Natalie , I looked at you and started crying saying how I miss her so much ... You told me you knew ( I think that you were showing me how much you miss your baby girl!) . I remember after that , by myself, running to a place down a hill where a bunch of people were sitting , they were watching an ECLIPSE (it had the beam of a star meeting in the middle) , I had my camera, I ran to you and told you come with me and watch this , it is so beautiful! You came running with me down hill , we ,I believe, climbed on the back of a truck (red, may have been yours) and I took pics of the eclipse and you smiling at me , then as the eclipse and star met you put your arms around me , with your hands on my face and KISSED me, it felt so real, I even felt the moist of your sweet kiss , and the weigt of your lips on mine.. It was so beautiful ... I then before waking up remember going through all the pictures and I saw the eclipse just as I did with you and I saw the pictures of you smiling at me , just as you had.. It was like I knew I was just visiting you ..

Mason I need you to know that I love you and I understand you may be out of my sight and you can only reach us in our dreams, if what I felt for Natalie at the beginning is what you are feeling , I am so so sorry.. I wish that I could open up and really see what I do have ... I know you must be like me and waiting anxiously to hold Natalie and me in your arms again , just as we are you! I love you so much and I thank you for sharing that feeling with me , I now see the bigger picture. I can love, hold, and kiss you through our babies.. and I can share your love for them through myself! I love you my sweet sweet husband , my angel! Please know I love our visits and it helps me through the days ahead , til we meet again!

Your Wife, Anna Cluck ...

 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

"How Have You Been?"



      How have you been? I have been ask this question so much and I respond the same everytime, "Good". What does this mean ? Do I feel good? No, Yes, Not exactly..... I feel like I am restrained here in a nightmare , the only light I see in this dark world is my babies and GOD! I feel like I am losing my husband more and more everyday... Why can't he just come walking through the door? I do keep faith everyday , but I do , like anyone else, I ask God why? ... We had so much and I am going to keep the memories for my babies, I want them to know, they have one daddy and only one , there will always be one father for my children and one husband , man in my life! I do not want things to better in time, I am in a dark time of my life , and what lil light there is , will remain the only lil light I have. I am waiting to be called home to join my dear husband , I do pray it doesn't take a lifetime but if it is God's will then years will mean nothing . For 20 years here is a day in heaven. I thank God for allowing me to see the reason for him taking Mason, I am thankful for allowing us to have two children together! I am thankful to him for such supporting family and friends! I love you all so so much and may God bless you and bring many blessings your way! I just hope that my family can be used, to better the lives of others, for God needs us to be thankful for all we have because LIFE IS VERY PRECIOUS AND DELICATE! So cherish every moment and make many memories !

Anna Cluck..

Monday, April 1, 2013

Marriage between ONE HUSBAND and ONE WIFE ...

    A true marriage in my eyes , where there are exchanging of vows and rings to one another is a love that will and should last forever , and in my case the woman or man should love their husband/wife enough to ensure their commitment before God is fulfilled! Why do we wear rings? A ring itself is never ending and that is how God intended for spouses love to be for one another , and even in death should that partner be loved just as they are here with the living spouse! A RING IS NEVER ENDING AND IS ETERNAL!
Following I copied : The unending circle or wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. For Christian couples, the exchanging of the wedding rings is the outward expression of the inward bond, as two hearts unite as one and promise to love each other with fidelity for all eternity. Likewise, the wedding covenant and the husband and wife relationship is a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and his bride, the church. Husbands are urged to lay down their lives in sacrificial love and protection. And in the safe and cherished embrace of a loving husband, a wife naturally responds in submission and respect. Just as the marriage relationship, symbolized in the unending circle, is designed to last forever, so too will the believer's relationship with Christ endure for all eternity.

Though God does give us free will to choose to end that eternal promise if a spouse passes or if both agree into divorce, but you must remember that if you remarry due to a husbands/wifes passing you will not have an eternal love in heaven other than Jesus and God himself... LOVE BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE IS SACRED IN GODS EYES .... Think of it this way if God was here as your husband and you were his wife, and You passed away do you think God would honor the vows he promised you? I know he would! I felt led to share this and to help others to understand how I feel and see this ..
I love my husband and though he isn't physically with me doesnt mean I am lonely or sad , it means he is closer to me now than when he was physically here with us .. Faith is the key to finding true LOVE (eternity with God) !


http://christianity.about.com/od/symbolspictures/ig/Christian-Symbols-Glossary/Christian-Circle.htm

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Living with A Broken Heart!

  I am in a struggle daily to fight for my life, and to keep myself healthy for our little one inside my whomb... My health is very important at this time in my pregnancy , and I feel like I'm in this tug-a-war game with myself! I have noticed lately a few things that are flagged with my health ... It is a day to day process living with out your other half! It's not easy and it is not replaceable... Nothing can ease the pain of knowing you have to wake up and face another day without them , and to force yourself to get out of bed and live , when all you want to do is just give up  ... BUT YOU CAN'T!

Things I have noticed that this process has done to my physical body with in this 1st month:
*Fatigue - I always want to sleep, dont want to get up though I have to it's a struggle to stay standing!
*Depression- Don't want to see any reason to live without him, but I know I have (2) important reasons to strive to live.
*Emptiness- I did lose my best friend! When you lose your husband/wife it takes a big piece of you and slowly tairs at whats left....
*Headaches- If I even attempt to stand up more than 10-20 minutes , I start to have really bad headaches..
*Chest tightness- felt like I couldn't breathe or like my lungs and stomach region were closing up it resulted in my throwing up.
*Shooting Pains- ONLY on right side from shoulder to foot.
*Nauseus - could be a lil from pregnancy
*Lip sores- raw spots on bottom inside lip

Right now I can't think of many more.. but I just feel like I am in a struggle to make myself strive to stay here while I also want to be with Mason... I am so confused lately about how I feel ..I am truely fighting ... I feel like I am slipping away and the thing is I am strong spirited , I have always been afraid of death ever sense I was a small child, but my heart is breaking so bad and I miss him so it is just ripping my spirit and will to fight straight from me... I love my babies and I want to have the strength to live for them ... I am so lost , I am in the middle and I wish part of me could be here for them and part of me with him!

I was asked to look up this site about the widowhood effect or broken heart syndrome..
Can you die from a broken heart? YES! Ladies if you are in the same situation as myself or even if you've lost your baby this can benefit you to read this... Take care of yourselfs the best you can ...

http://janderson99.hubpages.com/hub/Can-you-Really-Die-of-a-Broken-Heart

Anna Cluck

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Are You Here?

 I was on my computer lastnight (3-11-13) it was around 11:40pm .. I thought I caught a glimpse of someone walking towards me in the corner view of my eye ( I was sitting facing the wall on the couch , TV to my right side) , I quickly looked towards the TV and nothing was there , the TV was on so I thought maybe it was someone on the TV... I went back to the computer and then I felt like someone was watching me, in my heart I felt Mason here with me .... I felt like I could talk to him , so I opened up , I turned towards our urn.

 I told him how much I missed him, and how I just wish he could be here with me. I told him how much I missed hugging him and kissing him.. I felt tears well up in my eyes and warm stream of little tears began to roll down my face, I just kept telling him , "I truely love you Mason!" During the whole time my heart was fluttering , I felt this peace and all the while I was talking to him , I got to the point I had to tell him I loved him once more then ... I heard a "POP" the sound came to me with the first thought being the sound of his ankle popping, the way he would pop it in bed just before we went to sleep , or when he would rest on the couch at home! I knew that sound and , I knew it was him! He had hurt it when he was young , he told me, and after it would bother him and the only way to relieve the discomfort was to turn his foot and pop his ankle... he barely would turn his foot and it would POP so loudly! .. I just know it was Mason! I believe God allows our loved ones to share a bit of their presence to let us know they are ok and love us and are awaiting our arrival...

"Until We Meet Again!" my love!


I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

Anna Cluck

Monday, March 11, 2013

HIS and ONLY HIS! (Mason's love, God's child)

  I know that I am young , so I've been told tons of times, and that thinking I will not ever love again, is apart of grieving ... I KNOW WITH A SHOUT OF A DOUBT THAT I WILL NOT EVER LOVE ANOTHER MAN (at all) IN THE WAY THAT I HAVE LOVED MASON! I am not and will not ever be open to another relationship , I am his wife and he is my husband ... I believe in my heart it is more than just "TIL DEATH DO US PART!" I am faithfully waiting for my husband , though I can't see him physically , doesn't mean he isn't with me .. He had a purpose and God had told me (I misunderstood at that moment) that the end was near and I didn't hesitate to help open Mason's heart to God's plan..

Would I change it if I would have know that GOD was showing me my husband was going to be with him soon? Would I have made sure that he didn't take him?

No, and no... I want my husband back to hug, kiss, and to love here physically just like the next wife , but I know that GOD had and has a BIG PLAN set out in front of me and I am here fully to fulfill his plan and to be here completely heart and soul for my babies! I know that I do not need a physical partner (hense why I believe God had set this out for Mason and myself to do).. I KNOW MASON IS THERE FOR ME AND OUR BABIES!

 I may be different from most people ... but I am meant to be .. so please except my opinion on going away from my marriage and God and give into what the human body wants, needs, ect... I am living only as a vessel and a mother now and I will not allow human wants to pull me away from God's plan ... I will be reunited in Mason's arms one day .. I truely am very thankful for all prayers and kind words and for those that have tried to help me and let me know about the grieving process, it has helped ...

May God Bless you and thank you for reading .. Much love Anna Cluck!


Friday, March 1, 2013

Your In My Dreams!

3/1/2013                                   In My Dreams


                                    
 Well I saw you in my dream lastnight! You were in a distance out a window , so I went searching for you ! I found you sitting near the top of what looked like movie theater seats , but these chairs were just for two people and I found you sitting up there in your wedding attire...
I took a seat to the right of you...
 
You began to tell me that you were in a beautiful, peaceful place waiting ... I wondered "WAITING?"
Though I said nothing , it's like you felt what I was thinking , and you said heaven ...
All of a sudden things changed to me trying to save everyone (family and friends and even strangers)from something ...
You disappeared and everyone was rushing outside to the boat that was awaiting to take people to a safe place and I pushed everyone to the boat and then when it feeled up I saw a helicopter in front of me and I had all others gather on it and I started searching for my dad , ... "Dad? Dad?" I screamed out ... I spotted him swimming to the helicopter , and I was so frightened he wouldn't make it so I jumped in after him and as I turned back to the helicopter I saw YOU (Mason) on a perimedic bed leaning up (in your wedding attire again) smiling at me and you looked so radiant... As the copter took off my father clung to a rope that ascended him up with it... I was so excited that I saved everyone and then I realized IM HERE!! then I woke up!
 
There are meanings to every dream and I truely believe it has to do with me spreading your story and touching lives , I am so worried about others making it to heaven .... I am at a loss without you baby but I know you are there with me each and everyday ... I am finally seeing you and hearing you in my dreams!!! I hope you visit our Natalie in her dreams at night... She misses you so so much!
 
I LOVE YOU FOR ETERNITY MY HUSBAND!!!
 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Mason's Story! My Testimony!


Please have an open heart when I tell you!
Friday January 4th 2013, I was letting my dogs out to potty.. Our christian station here is 93.7 and as I was opening my back door he said "The end is near and its up to you to make it right" , I strongly
believe in God coming back and I thought that's what all this was about for us all .. I opened my door and it was like opening up to a rainbow of bright bright colors (same as you see but the trees and clouds/sky were 10x's their color!) I felt this electric shock running through my body and I felt this sweet small voice in my heart telling me to hit my knees, I DID SO I HAd NO CHOICE! I then heard (felt) him telling me Mason, my dad, my brother n law Andy, and it kept going but Mason was first and I at the time didn't understand I just prayed I thought he was needing me to change and help lead them to christ for when he came back...
I then told Mason about it and we began to talk about church and he was willing to go , he loved going to my uncles church so we went two Sundays before it happened the second Sunday we were sitting in the church and my cousin asked me to go help her with the childrens church and I ask Mason if he'd be ok in the service by himself and he told me he would be fine and I asked him again he said Ill be ok I told him I loved him and went to class , I worried the whole time about him and was wondering what he was doing... After the service they had a potluck dinner and when we got in there he looked at me and said it felt like your uncle was talking at me... He said it was about if you think your a christian or KNOW you are ... he told me he KNEW HE THOUGHT HE WAS but now he knew he wasn't and he wanted to except Christ... we got home and we layed down for bed and he looks at me and said it was still on his mind, I told him that was good and I kissed him (I should have listened more) He woke up the next morning went to work , when he got home he pulled out this bracelet a man had gave him at work that Monday it was a little leather bracelet with colors on it in red, black, yellow (gold), white, and green... he told me he felt like it was meant for him and he asked me to tie it on his wrist .. he then read what the colors meant to me (read it one time) red - blood of Christ, yellow (in place of Gold)- heaven, black-sin, white- all may be saved now (his favorite one), green- growth.. after he rememberized them , that night he asked me how to be a christian or how to start I said baby start small by the way you think , if you think you are better than them , change it to something better smile , he said, "I dont judge them because I think I'm better than them, I judge them because I think their better than me." I told him, " No one is better than the other and expecially you.." He told me he'd try that ... he wanted to talk to my uncle derrell about the message that touched his heart and the following next two weeks thinks kept coming up and happening .. He lost his job Feb. 8th 2013 he was driving down the road and I by his side , he was devisated begging them to tell him why ... though he kept his faith things will get better he said... the following next days past on we bought our home the day of the termination .. things were changing for us while things were getting pretty bad as well we started needing money and food (thanks to family we had a lil) ... He kept smiling and valentines day 2-14-2013 we went to my moms boyfriends for dinner (shrimp) he was excited and he was so hiped up that night , I asked him to tell them the meaning of his bracelet he was smiling the entire time going through the colors , he finished with green as i remember exactly... Just before we were to eat Rick (moms bf) said lets bless the food, Mason had told everyone to gather hands... Never in my life has he said this! the next two days we were moving... that Saturday night before the wreck he took my uncles trailer back to him and his truck with the carseat in it ran out of gas at my uncle derrells , that night he spoke to my Uncle about how the cermon touched him and how it truely meant something to him! My uncle brought him home and I then asked him if we could get his lizards tank inside so it wouldn't freeze and so we could put the car seat in the car so we could go home and cook at the other house he told me no you are pregnant and its too heavy! Well I took my lil sister home wearing his jacket in the same seat he was in and using his keys! I got home and remember him and my baby girl laying in bed he was telling me she scared him by sitting up acting like she was blind , I laughed and we agreed she was just sleeping , we went to sleep!!!!!!
Sunday Febuary 17, 2013 he woke up at 6:53 am went to the rest room , then came by my side and told me it was cold (he was always cold) he said he was about to go get the change from his trruck to go cash it at walmart and get us gas in the car , and go get biscuts from the house and bring them back he then but his jacket on grabbed the keys and I asked him if he took his seizure meds he said he did and I yelled come take the phone just in case you need it .. he said oh yah I forgot.. then we said I love you , I told him to be careful (like everymorning) he said I will baby I love you! Then he headed out , I heard him shutting the back door multible times it had a problem latching ... I had no Idea it would be the last moment I would have with him at all!!!!!
At 8:36 am I heard knocking and I walked to the door in a hurry smiling I thought Mason was locked out ... I opened it to two policemen standinging there with a look on their face that scared me ...
They asked me who I was, I said I was Anna Cluck then they asked if they could come in.... I directed them in ... they asked me if I was married..................... My heart dropped and I said yes , why am I being asked this? He said ma'am you HAVE TO TELL US WHO YOU ARE MARRIED TO! I hesitated and said Mason Cluck! They then told me he was in a very bad wreck that took his life!!!!_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MY LIFE ENDED THAT DAY!!!!!!
It makes sinse that God needed him and it wasn't our end but HIS END HERE!!! AND HIS BEGINNING WITH GOD!

http://thecluckfamily.blogspot.com/2013/01/hearing-god.html
 


 the bracelet he wore and was pround to talk and share with others! He passed away wearing this meaningful bracelet!
 this link is from my blogg post from January 6th about "HEARING GOD"!
http://thecluckfamily.blogspot.com/2013/01/hearing-god.html

Sunday, January 6, 2013

"Hearing God"

      I was on my way to let my dog out to potty, as I opened the door I saw the brightest most elegant (undescribable to man) colors, to which decored the sky, trees, and surrounding things (same colors as we all see everyday but multipied by 10)! I heard an inner voice with-in myself telling me to hit my knees, and I felt a force with-in myself that allowed no questioning and I did so! 'I HIT MY KNEES'! I believe God needed me to humble myself to hear him speak to me. Though, I didn't hear him with my ears , I heard his still small voice in my heart telling me to PRAY?!?! I began to pray for those around me, I wasn't sure as of why I was praying for them at the moment, but I realized God needed me humbled before him, inorder for me to hear him. I felt this chill of sweet fulfillment and love endulge my entire being and I KNEW it was GOD! He spoke just a few words with-in my heart and soul, and I still had a lot to say, though I know God has more for me to learn but in his time he will speak to me! I have a purpose for this life and through God's son Jesus Christ I MUST fulfill my purpose! I am not sure of it just yet, but God will lead me to it!

John 12:28 [Jesus prayed] "Father, glorify Your name.”
Then a voice came from heaven, saying,I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.”
 29 Therefore the people who stood by and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to Him.”
 30 Jesus answered and said, This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake".

Isa 55:1-11 Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”
6 Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
 
 
Jer 6:10
To whom can I speak and give warning? Who will listen to me? Their ears are closed so they cannot hear. The word of the LORD is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it.
 
Zech 7:11-13
11 “But they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and covered their ears. 12 They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the Lord Almighty had sent by his Spirit through the earlier prophets. So the Lord Almighty was very angry.
13 “‘When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen,’ says the Lord Almighty.
 
Isa 30:20-21
20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”